Monday, September 12, 2005

Bush Fails again in Disaster in Los Angeles

A major power outage in Los Angeles today has many wondering if the Federal government is able to respond to a major disaster or terrorist act. The outage knocked out power to thousands and reports have surfaced that hundreds of calls have come in from citizens stranded in elevators all over the famous skyline of the high-rise metropolis. One bystander remarked, "I wonder when Bush is going to do something about this. I just hope FEMMA shows up soon. There could be serious problems here by sundown".

The city is on a Major Alert, shutting down much of the city's services and focusing police attentions on the problems at hand. Obviously traffic, normally calm and trouble-free in this largely pedestrian city, will be adversely affected.

A Los Angeles Department of Water and Power spokesman said that it is unknown how many homes and businesses are affected but the numbers are definitely into the thousands. "We think it is a transmission problem", said Grey Skywalker, Director of Operations in the LADWP, "but it is unclear whether the trigger was global warming due to Bush's failure to sign onto Kyoto, or simply the fact that all of our best electrical engineers are serving over in Iraq".

Sean Penn was filmed dragging a small boat, leaking water through the streets of Hollywood, followed by a personal photographer and a couple of bodyguards. "I am just here to help", the actor/activist said, adding: "I have had to help several people down the stairs in some of these high-rises down here. They had to use the stairs because the elevators don't work. They don't even have elevators, man"! He was spotted removing his heavy flack jacket due to the extreme heat in the air condition-less, hot California afternoon heat.

Nancy Pelosi has called for a bi-partisan, multi-million dollar investigation into who is at fault and why the relief efforts were so tardy. "They say, fool me once shame on you, well I want to say shame on me to President Bush...I mean shame on him...Oh, you know what I mean", the senator exclaimed, obviously stammered by the scope of this tragedy.


camojack said...

They need a NEWS blackout from thereabouts...

Kajun said...

The City of Los Angeles obviously did not follow their own emergency plan, of a windmill in every yard!

The rolling blackouts of 2002 showed that the City was clearly unprepared for just such an emergency as this.

Even as we speak, looters are being bused from the Astrodome in Houston, to offer their expertise in emergency situations.

Cannibal Cruise Lines is also maneuvering a ship into position to help with corpse removal.

Beerme said...


Oh, ho! Busing in the looters from Houston! That would make Barbara Bush upset, now wouldn't it?


Unfortunately, no emergency is ever that severe. Sad, isn't it. When people are dying, drowning, starving or burning, and need help to get them out of the area of a disaster, the media can fly in a chopper to record the disaster but not to help rescue the people!

The army of news crews could have evacuated all of NO, but all they did was cluck their tongues and wag their fingers for two weeks!

camojack said...

You have a very valid point, unfortunately...but you know the outdated (formerly known as "mainstream") media's motto:
"If it bleeds, it leads."

Hawkeye® said...

Great post Beerme! I loved it.

Hawkeye® said...


Where do you get those great lines?