A major power outage in Los Angeles today has many wondering if the Federal government is able to respond to a major disaster or terrorist act. The outage knocked out power to thousands and reports have surfaced that hundreds of calls have come in from citizens stranded in elevators all over the famous skyline of the high-rise metropolis. One bystander remarked, "I wonder when Bush is going to do something about this. I just hope FEMMA shows up soon. There could be serious problems here by sundown".
The city is on a Major Alert, shutting down much of the city's services and focusing police attentions on the problems at hand. Obviously traffic, normally calm and trouble-free in this largely pedestrian city, will be adversely affected.
A Los Angeles Department of Water and Power spokesman said that it is unknown how many homes and businesses are affected but the numbers are definitely into the thousands. "We think it is a transmission problem", said Grey Skywalker, Director of Operations in the LADWP, "but it is unclear whether the trigger was global warming due to Bush's failure to sign onto Kyoto, or simply the fact that all of our best electrical engineers are serving over in Iraq".
Sean Penn was filmed dragging a small boat, leaking water through the streets of Hollywood, followed by a personal photographer and a couple of bodyguards. "I am just here to help", the actor/activist said, adding: "I have had to help several people down the stairs in some of these high-rises down here. They had to use the stairs because the elevators don't work. They don't even have elevators, man"! He was spotted removing his heavy flack jacket due to the extreme heat in the air condition-less, hot California afternoon heat.
Nancy Pelosi has called for a bi-partisan, multi-million dollar investigation into who is at fault and why the relief efforts were so tardy. "They say, fool me once shame on you, well I want to say shame on me to President Bush...I mean shame on him...Oh, you know what I mean", the senator exclaimed, obviously stammered by the scope of this tragedy.