Friday, December 30, 2005

I don't make beer like this

Apparently Kopi Luwak coffee beans are all the rage among the rich these days. These coffee beans are imported from Indonesia and cost upwards of $175/pound! They must be very good, eh? Well wait until you find out how they are harvested. Apparently there are some palm civets in the country, small, house-cat-sized nocturnal tree climbers, and they just love to eat the coffee berries. After they eat the fruit, the seed (bean) falls to the jungle floor with, poop and they are harvested there, roasted and packaged for rich Americans to show off to their poor Jamaican Blue Mountain drinking friends.

Now if I can just figure a way to make money like this from the road apples I make, I'll finally be able to live at the standard to which I want to grow accustomed.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The night Pelosi stole the libs' Christmas

'Twas the night before recess and all through the Senate
Not a Demo would stand, every seat had one in it
The libs wre all seated all snug in their chairs
Hoping that trashing Bush would make congress theirs
Teddy was staring at Pelosi with glee
Mumbling something about clarified butter, or ghee

Then what did his lecherous eyes turn to next
But the sight of Nan's face falling off on her chest
Seems the botox grew brittle and the skin had turned hard
And the seam twixt the two had come deftly ajar
Not exactly comic, it was somewhat disturbin'
It bounced like a marble and landed on Durbin

He wore it like bozo but it wasn't so funny
When he started to flop around screamin' 'bout Rummy
Still no eyes in that august body did widen
When Dick flipped it off smartly to land it on Biden
Joe stood there and thought, "what's this thing that I wear?
And my God, I hope it don't mess with my hair"!

As he shook his frozen locks and the mask flew-ooh, scary!
It landed anon on the head of John Kerry
Who turned to his colleagues and, nuanced at that,
Exclaimed, "here's proof! It's my long-lost lucky hat!
I lost it at Christmas in Cambodia one time
When we were fighting, illegally, across enemy lines"

That's when Nancy, recovering from losing her face,
Stepped up and snatched it from Kerry's coifed pate
She spoke not a word but went straight to the task
slapping Fix-adent all over the inside of her mask
Then donning the pelt and seating her tush
She missed not a lick of her griping 'bout Bush

Then the face that won't break when it falls on the floor
Or goes bouncing down hallways and slams into the door,
Began smiling a grin that was from ear-to-ear
And she said that the season was more about cheer
All this griping and moaning and kvetching 'bout Bush
Should stop at this moment and the lib crowd just hushed

"Her loss caused her pain" "It's PTSS",
the libs all cried out like Dr. Phil on CBS
"She can't feel this way. It's the stress, that's all"
But Pelosi had lost more than face at this hall
She lost her ability to mime the lib bleats
She lost her attachment to thespian cheats

And I heard her exclaim 'ere she traipsed out of sight
"Speak truth to power. Merry Christmas, alright"?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

"Tis the Reason for the Treason...

It's no secret. The Democrats, at least the strategists and pundits who don't have to worry about getting elected, are fully admitting it. The Democrat strategy to win some seats back in congress includes, as it's centerpiece, playing politics with the Iraq war.

Oh, you'll hear the actual politicians denying it, saying it's patriotic to disagree with the president and to voice that disagreement. You'll also hear them saying they aren't crtiticizing the troops, just the administration (We support our military but disagree with it's mission). Come now. Isn't that excuse a little like the rap adage, "Don't hate the playa, hate the game"? In other words, an immoral act committed by a person in an immoral contest should be considered...moral? Yeah, that's kinda like the reasoning used by these politicians.

The reason for all of this treason-yes, treason-is no more important than gaining a seat or two in the legislature. For this the majority of the Democrat party is willing to endanger our position in the world, encourage terrorists, embarrass the country and denigrate and endanger our military.

For a quick primer on the tawdriness of this "strategy", one needs to look no further than the Democrat response to Joe Lieberman's favorable evaluation of the war effort and encouragement to our troops to stay the course. Singled out by DNC chairman Dean as perhaps the only dissenter in the ranks. See also the admittedly partisan political purpose behind this constant carping about a war these people voted FOR.

Politics is certainly not an honorable profession, but this type of behavior is shameful even for a politician.

here is the source for this rant.