Coyote Jihad

Shocking images are being received detailing the level of horrific torture conducted on "Hal" the coyote tracked down recently in New York City's Central Park. Though, officials indicate the coyote died during attempts to "re-locate" him to a rural environment, these new photos just now emerging, paint an entirely different picture.

The ACLU has filed suit with a New York court to have published all of the photos of the detention of Hal and his subsequent demise. "The American people, as well as the American coyote community, deserve to know the truth about these horrific detention centers", an unnamed ACLU spokesman said earlier today.

The rumors surrounding the scandal under the surface of this seemingly innocent relocation effort were first uncovered by intrepid blogger, Scott Ott early this morning.

Riots may erupt in the coyote streets which are, as Ott reminds us, very sensitive to any perceived abuses. The probability that many coyotes have gained access to ingenious weapons through their close ties to the ACME corporation (A Company that Makes Everything)makes this situation a great danger for the entire world. Already, the US has imposed strict embargoes on any corporation selling anvils or rocket skates to any quadruped. A State Department official indicated that restricting sales of such items to coyotes only would be seen as profiling.

The situation is made only more precarious by the threats of many cartoonists and animation artists to depict the coyote "prophet", Wily E. Coyote, in various unflattering ways, for entertainment purpopses. A spokesman for the activist cartoonist group, Cartoonists Offer You Only Terrific Entertainment, stated, "We're not going to let any four-legged furry critters keep us from entertaining the public with our work. Free speech is still important to cartoonists, even if it isn't popular with coyotes.

The fact that coyotes now occupy nearly every state and county in the US, makes this an extremely dangerous situation. The world awaits the resolution of this conflict.